Bewildered

[KiwiMan]

Thanks again Hope and Pearl.

To Pearlhbr - The issues I have had that I know caused the issues are things like when we go out together to events or friends houses she says even when I am talking to other people she notices I am still watching what shes doing and not having fun myself, and not paying much attention to other people because I am too concerned with what she is doing. I guess I got myself into a rut too and used to say that I didn't want to go and do things with our family friends, I would say I would rather stay home and have a few drinks with her... so I guess thats smothering in a way too.

She always used to say to me, I just want you to have fun aswell and cut loose, don't worry about what I am doing.

And the jealosy thing is bad on my part, always asking her if she had received any texts from people and that sort of thing. I guess it was a big paranoia on my behalf.

I am told her last week that all of that can change and I will get help for it. She sort of takes it on board but doesn't respond with much. She has been told by other people that controlling people can't change... which is not true! So when I say those things I don't think she beleives it.

What made my insecurities worse was the fact she is friendly with everyone and even kind of "flirty" when we go out... and she has always assured me that I was the only guy for her etc. But I would let her actions bring out the ugly green jealousy monster.

I am prepared myself for the worst in a way... Its just hard to accept it without knowing if she had given me that last chance... like Michelle says in the WAW article that it could have worked out.. for the sake of her, me and the children.

It would be a lot easier if the children weren't involved.