Not to knock the Love Dare book, but I've read it and see where it could conflict with DBing to some extent. Love Dare has some very pursuing ideas and that is one thing you do not need to do right now.

I think in your case, it is going to take a long time to prove to her that you not only "can" change, but that the changes will stick. She is set in her belief, so only time will make her see what she doesn't believe.

There is a friend of mine here on the board that I want to find and ask to come talk to you. I think he would be encouraging. In the meantime, you need to reach out to others on their threads so you can build up support.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!