My sitch...long but please indulge me

[pearlharbr]

You don't have to go on a spree (I know I'm lucky in that regard) but do something to change your look for the better. Target has stylish clothes at low prices. Or get a new hair style. Something that will make you feel good about yourself. It may sound vain and shallow but it really does lift your spirits. And so does attention from other women.

[billclay18]

Had a great time with my buddy last night, although friggin' Ronnie Brown cost me a win.

Haven't responded to W yet. Might just say:

"I don't know what you are or aren't entitled to. I do know the real estate market has tanked and unfortunately I don't see it recovering to where it was 4 yrs ago anytime soon. Feel free to have your lawyer look into it."

Whaddya think?

[pearlharbr]

Do you plan to sell the house if you divorce? For some reason I thought it was your house and she moved in when you married. In that case I would think that she is only entitled to half of the equity accrued during that period. Do discuss this with your lawyer.

I think your answer is fine but be aware that she may still balk at your observations just because they come from you (even though everyone knows about the current state of the real estate market).

[billclay18]

Do you plan to sell the house if you divorce? For some reason I thought it was your house and she moved in when you married. In that case I would think that she is only entitled to half of the equity accrued during that period. Do discuss this with your lawyer.

Yes, I did own the house before we were married and she was never on title or the mortgage. I believe you are correct that she would only be entitled to half the equity accrued while we were married. Unfortunately for both of us that equity is negative to the tune of about $30k. If by some miracle the value goes up by $40k in the next 6 months I'd gladly split the $10k with her, but I don't see that happening. Her whole argument is moot.

I will be selling the house after the first of the year. It's a struggle paying the mortgage on one income and it's a 4BR, 3-1/2 BA 2-story with a finished basement...much too big for D11 and me.

I'm sure she'll disregard my answer. If she wants to spend the money to pursue it, that's her choice. Apparently everyone is aware of the current state of the real estate market but her.

[pearlharbr]

Good, I hope the L tells her just what we suspect. Then you can ask for her $15K when you close on the sale. Umm, BTW, I'm a little snarky like that.

Chalk up another point for choose the actions, choose the consequences.

[billclay18]

Yep !

I suspect she's realizing she's leaving this marriage with nothing (except a futon and a bedroom set...that's more than she brought into it) and is grasping to salvage something. So sad...not my problem anymore!

[pearlharbr]

Well, even I was surprised at our current financial sitch and thought I would get more if we split up. I never asked detailed questions about money because I sort of thought of it as our money but sort of thought of it as his money since I don't work. Lesson learned. Now I have access to his bank records and credit card statements and I ask if I have a question.

I'm sure she thought she'd be getting a nice settlement to start her new life. Ah, the rosy picture is a little greyer in reality. You're right, not your problem!

[billclay18]

A woman of leisure I see...no wonder you have time to cook all those foreign delicacies.

She knew there was no settlement...she wanted a nice simple "you keep yours, I'll keep mine" D, no claim to the house (or the house debt), let's write it up ourselves, file with the clerk and save on lawyer fees...yada, yada, yada.

Gotta go watch "House" from last night while my D's at gymnastics.

[pearlharbr]

I knew I liked you! We have House on the DVR too.

I'm off to a volunteer orientation for the local film festival. Trying to fill up my leisure time...

[billclay18]

Good, I hope the L tells her just what we suspect. Then you can ask for her $15K when you close on the sale.

I know you said this tongue-in-cheek, but since she's considering going after the equity in the house, I may have to adjust the paperwork to account for this. Something vague like:

"Both parties agree to split any equity accrued in the house from the time they were married until it is sold. That includes positive or negative equity".

Not trying to piss her off, just covering my butt. In all fairness, we should share any gains or losses equally. It's always easier to remove stuff from the paperwork than add it later on.

I did respond the her last email, but haven't sent the paperwork yet.

Did you watch "House" yet?