Kiwi - Man I feel you. You have such a similar sitch as mine it's almost scary. Check out my post. There are a lot of similarities on this board...like Puppy said don't be naive - took me awhile to put 2+2 together. Anyone will say anything to keep their guilt hidden.
Keep posting on here....it is therapeutic and learn from others.
M 33, W 30, SD 10, D 5, S 4
Made it through the WAW, living happily together now. And I am much wiser for it!