Your dad is trying to reach you…he called me out of the blue, looking for you.
In my opinion we are not making the right decision for the kids. Last weekend you said you were going to put your foot down. Our house didn’t use to be a democracy we decided what we were going to allow our kids to do. We’re really going to allow them to have that power over a parent? It didn’t have to be a week at a time, it could have been a couple days, or whatever.
I think we are getting to a point where we’re running out of do overs and too quickly.
You are not listening to a damned word anyone is saying to you.
Get a grip ...please!!!
You are your own worst enemy right now.
I understand about the ADHD and the meds and the anxiety but if you do not sit on your hands and put some duct tape on your mouth you will blow what ever chance you have with your marriage.
Get yourself under control, change your meds or check yourself into a hospital.
Honestly, this is totally nuts.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
I called him to get the pin for the Mazda. I came home to a fridge with rotten food. The entire house smelled rotten. Hope to God that kids hadn’t eaten anything out of there! Popsicles had melted all over the kitchen floor. Everyntime I leave, I come back to something you ignore. Dryer, shower leaking, fridge, dog sick. Find a place that the kids can stay with you at.
wonder if she'll remember the dryer i wanted to fix and she got bs. shower she kicked me out before could fix it,fridge well D told me it was working...sick dog, i wasn't there for a sick dog. And i have a place, just didn't want to take the kids there, didn't want them to have that memory
I see you took your medicine this morning? How did you doctor's appointment going concerning the medicine? If I remember correctly, you were supposed to be meeting with some one to discuss that today.
I have been on this board for over a year and a half and...being truthfully honest...have NEVER seen some one dig themselves into a hole as fast as you are. You NEED to listen to the advice you are getting. I would go a step further and say ....empty out your saving account and get out of town for a week or two. Leave your cell phone and laptop sitting on a desk and leave. You are doing such damage that things are just getting worse. From there...you are going to file for divorce! Why are you really on this board if that is your attitude.
I wish that Sandi would read your stuff and you would get the kick upside the head you need. I know we are supposed to be positive and supportive on this board, but by the time you realize the great help you have been given....your marriage will be over. You have been repeatedly told to communicate less and more effectively with your wife. Example in the email that should have NEVER been sent;
"Your dad is trying to reach you…he called me out of the blue, looking for you." -I will take your word that he contacted you out of the blue....should have been end of communication...period...or better yet...given the FIL her phone number! You were subconsciously looking for a reason to contact her.
"In my opinion we are not making the right decision for the kids."-Please listen to previous posters...she doesn't care about your opinion.
"Last weekend you said you were going to put your foot down."-Accusatory and fighting statement in a good marriage...You basically told her that she doesn't do what she says and is in reality not doing her job as a parent like you would!
"Our house didn’t use to be a democracy we decided what we were going to allow our kids to do."-She felt you were controlling...so the house wasn't a democracy from her view point. Second (between the lines) you are accusing her of breaking down the parenting front.
"We’re really going to allow them to have that power over a parent?"-That is what she already stated...overall the statement isn't as bad as the last two, but in context with the previous statements...I would be ready to blow a lid as you once again showed that you aren't listening to her. A statement like the one above does need to be addressed, but in the right context which you missed badly.
"It didn’t have to be a week at a time, it could have been a couple days, or whatever."-She probably didn't even read this line...communication is fine and neutral, but it is preceded by to many statements that could be viewed as accusatory.
"I think we are getting to a point where we’re running out of do overs and too quickly."-Threatening and the true irony...she probably thought "Thank god". You drew a line in the sand with this statement, but you had better be prepared to back it up. Over and over again people mention laying down a line about moving towards a divorce. You have to truly be ready for the repercussions of that statement. You have to be ready for her to come back and say "Let's start the filing tomorrow!" and I don't believe you are ready for that.
Listen to the advice you are getting! Change your communication tactics! Forget about your marriage and your kids for awhile....you are doing unrepairable damage at this point with both your kids and your wife. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND WHEN YOU ARE IN A MORE STABLE PLACE START DB'ING.
Finally, the bringing dinner to the neighbors for your family....what possessed you to do that? That was wrong on so many levels! Don't do things for your wife unless she asks and only then after a lot consideration. Talk about shouting at your wife "You aren't taking care of the family!"....because that is more than likely what she heard! And didn't ask for!
