K4D Rising #4

[K4D]

I'm looking for honest genuine help here on trying to see if she will go to Retrouvaille.

Kevin

[K4D]

VD,

Would you ask your W or did you ask her to go to Retrouvaille? If so, what was the outcome?

Kevin

[K4D]

Explain to me this. What point do me and my W have to be at in our relationship to qualify me to ask her if she will go to Retrouvaille?

Kevin

[MrBond]

Honestly, she's going to have to show that she is interested in you. Which I really don't see any time soon. I mean, let's face it, she can't seem to stomach sitting in the same room with you.

Harsh but true. Stop looking at the goal of getting her to R and maybe start thinking about how you can even start talking to her in a civil manner and she likewise.

[june72]

Now don't everyone freak out. I am still thinking of a way to ask my beloved darling to go to Retrouvaille with me next month.

Any suggestions on how to put it to her so she might consider it?

Kevin

Dear, sweet Kevin,

And I am saying this with the kindest voice possible. THIS is exactly why you need counseling. I admit, I have gone to counseling myself nothing wrong with it.
It's almost as if you are a person who is only their hands over their ears , yelling lalalala- I can't hear it so it must not be true. She does not want to be with you at this time. Maybe in the future but not know.

But, we all know her answer will be no. And that this behavior, in my mind, is pursuing.

And to call her "sweet darling"? Just, I don't know how to word it, just not right in some way.... (considering the situation)

[smith18]

Would you still stand for your marriage if your wife changed religion or became an atheist or agnostic?

Why are you so fast to try to get your wife to go to Retrouvaille with you when you wont go see a counselor like so many have recommended? I see that even back in May that you were agreeing that you needed a C and meds.

Kevin, words are not actions.

You are being very stubborn and defensive to those who give you excellent advice. Do you think this same trait might be one reason your wife has left you?

I think Retrouvaille would be a disaster for your marriage at this present time. It would give your wife the green light to say "see, I told you so. Our marriage cannot be reconciled". She would file for divorce again fairly quickly after wasting her time with it.

You need to be thinking Retrouvaille somewhere way down the road when your wife indicates of her own free will that she is thinking about wanting back into the marriage.

[K4D]

Would you still stand for your marriage if your wife changed religion or became and atheist or agnostic?

Yes.

Why are you so fast to try to get your wife to go to Retrouvaille with you when you wont go see a counselor like so many have recommended? I see that even back in May that you were agreeing that you needed a C and meds.

I just spoke to my kids C this morning and we are going to try and set it up for me. She does adult and marriage C as well as kids C.

Kevin

[K4D]

And to call her "sweet darling"? Just, I don't know how to word it, just not right in some way.... (considering the situation)

I'm not sure I follow here...

Kevin

[volleydog]

Nope never did. By the time I knew what it was she would have said no...Someone did btw write her an email suggesting it, the email said a friend of a friend...She thought it was me pretending to be someone else and was pretty upset.

[K4D]

VD,

Sorry to hear that.

Kevin