I want my family back!

[Calliope]

Thank you both for your replies. I do believe that he was hit with the reality stick last week. He is feeling guilt for his bad decisions and actions. And has said many times that he wants to 'make this right' (meaning the divorce process). Although it was his discussion with the lawyer that set him off, he is promising changes outside of just the divorce process, saying he is going to be open and honest with everyone about everything. (meaning that he is telling the OW how his relationship with me and the kids is going to be, regardless of what she thinks). He says he feels so much better this week, feels like a weight has been lifted off of him. What I do not want to do, is act like everything is wonderful now between us. Rgardless of how wonderful he feels, he still left his family for another woman. I'm still a mess over that, yet I cannot let him see that!

I'm torn about the friendship thing. My DB coach had said to try and be his friend a while back, when he first showed signs of trouble with the OW. However, my therapist (very pro-marriage) said it was not the time to be his friend, since he had already filed, it was time for me to back away more. Within a week, it was clear that I really didn't have to make that decision anyway, because he pulled away so much more after that, and was being more and more unreasonable.

So now, I really do need to make that choice. I'm torn between doing whats best for the kids now (being his friend?) and doing whats best to get him back in the long run.

Thanks!