Then I guess I am the fool. I know that my ex cheated on me once before when we first got married. I took in to account that I was gone a lot as a flight attendant, I had fertility issues and he appeared to be genuinely sorry. I was also still in love with him.

I was young, didn't know what work needed to be done. We got pregnant shortly after I was involved in a near fatal accicent(yet another reason I stayed). Things just kind of went on from there. Our second child had medical issues that required weekly hospital visits until he was just over 3(he just turned 14 yesterday). By then we had our daughter and thought we were done but the big guy upstairs had other plans. We had our last child not quite 21 months after our first daughter. She was a good baby but a very difficult toddler with frequent melt downs that only I could seem to stop. Lots of stress raising the family, hardly seeing each other while working 3 and sometimes 4 jobs between us. This is where we failed each other but we both thought we were doing what we needed to.

Then came his DUI and putting the blame for his drinking on me. He still would go out on occasion with the overly confident attitude that he knew how much he could have. Looking back now he may have been cheating then but really it doesn't matter now. I know that I should have felt happier when we were together and I didn't. I gave him his second chance, a real chance as we built our family and he threw it all away. I can't say with all honesty that I am happy now but I am way better off and I have my kids. Take what you will from my situation, I am not a fool now.

kat

Me-53(and learning!)
S24, S21, D18, D17
Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory