Hi Dia I have been following your thread. That last post you made is spot on. While I do not have your control over your own desires, i have found myself in the same situation as you even though i am a male. The first time my wife and I ML, it was bitter sweet. She started crying in the middle of it, saying that she was weak and just gave in. I was patient with her and let her know that i was there and hurting just as much as she was. It was intense for me, but in my mind I thought the more intimate we were the closer we would get. My words helped and we continued to ML. But over the course of the next few weeks she started retreating emotionally.
However this morning it came to fruition again and we ended up making love, for a brief while before the kid walked in. The strange part is that before the kid walked in i whispered in her ear, "what are you thinking about" and she told me that we shouldn't be doing this but it felt too good to stop. I told her several times i would be more than happy to stop and attempted to only to have her pull me back.
It is strange the things, we allow ourselves to do and then regret it after. Before I left for work, I made sure that I kissed her as gently and passionatley as possible and she reciprocated. This to me doesn't seem like regret.
Its the love and commitment i want too, but dont you think that love making is also part of the cake and not just the icing on it?
