"Blow me", shouldn't be the literal translation, but a foundation of your deciscion not to move out. She is the one who 'wants' change...let her move out if it comes to that.
On most things...when you are 'standing' (which is a nicer way of saying suffering with dignity) I say roll over, accept what you can, and tolerate what you never thought you could for as long as you can.
These are her morals that are being broken and bent...not yours. So you can suffer it. And you can forgive...at least you'd better be able to otherwise, quit now and don't waste your time or hers. You need to figure that out, if you can forgive...which means moving past and not bringing it up in later agruments as ammo. For her part, more than likely, she isn't going to believe you will be capable of this, I don't know of any MLCer who thought this was possible at first.
You are going to feel like a doormat...others will call you a doormat, perhaps even some here. You want to be married? I say F them. Live for your goal, not how others will think you should live.
To that end...stop confiding in immediate friends and family. They are going to want you to not hurt. So they are going to give you advice designed to make the hurting stop ASAP. Divorce.
Their advice isn't wrong...it is just geared toward what they think is best for you.
Keeping your friends and family in your turmoil also makes it amazingly hard for the MLCer to come back. Think about it. What if everyone you knew knew of a terrible choice you made, and the suffering you caused in friends of theirs. Even if you regretted your choice and apologized, how would their judgement weigh upon you?
You are geting some amazing advice, almost like the distilled version of the Resource thread. Absorb it.
A few last points.
You admitted to looking at yourself. GOOD.
What are you currently working on within yourself that you did not like...just one or two things please. And...keep it down to one or two things...any more and you'll eventually get overwhelmed and likely quit making vital changes.
Be careful...you are vulnerable. You are going to meet some amazing people here and in your life who have similar stories and experiences, easy to talk to and understanding...keep your eye on your goal.
Keep your kids out of this, you are their support, no tthe other way around, do not talk poorly of her to them...defend her from them...sucks...its not fair. Boo-hoo. Cry me a river, I don't live in the castle I wanted when I was a kid either.
Last.
Strive to be the man you aspire to. 'He' is who you will become. You can always do better so strive to match his pace.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
