You'd be surprised. Many supposedly "pro-marriage" counselors do more to help the wayward spouse "self-actualize" or "find themselves" than they do to actually try to support the marriage.
Good ones are few and far between.
I have a particularly inside view of this, and it's not good. A small fact I've not relayed in any of my posts is that my W IS A MC! Somehow when we got M, I thought that was a good thing, but all it did was make my W chronically unsatisfied with the imperfection of our M. When we needed MC, she took the lead and set us up with one of her colleagues (big mistake). Although this MC was fairly good at having us deal with our own issues, she was not very appropriate as a MARRIAGE counselor. The room was skewed with those two MC who have a professional and personal association on one side, and me on the other.
On top of all that, while we were struggling to keep our M together, I find out that our MC has split from her husband. How did I come to know this? Because her new business cards had a new name. When I noted that to my W, she said, "Oh yeah, MC is getting divorced." I said "That's awful!" My W replied "Why? She says they're both much happier now." Clearly my W and our MC were having personal discussions outside the confines of our MC sessions. At that moment I knew I was bailing a sinking ship.
Even though my W is a MC, she still started a secret EA, and when I eventually found out about it, after it had progressed to unalterable levels, she claimed it had no bearing on why she needed to leave me. We were in MC for months while it was going on, but she made no mention of it during our MC sessions. Somehow she thought it was not relevant to our M! I have learned the brutally hard way, the WAW's brain, especially in the throws of an A, is truly capable of justifying anything, and being absolutely indifferent to how it affects their H, even if that WAW happens to be a MC.
