Even if it is just to sit in silence and watch a parade
My feelings have been all over the place as well so I do know what you are talking about when you say you hate him, then you don't, maybe just a little etc...
((((Hugs)))) my friend
You know where I am if you want to talk
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~