Maybe if she just told me exactly where she is I could be OK with that?
How much clearer can this be made for you?? She is struggling. She doesn't know exactly where she's at. She just knows that she associates pain with you. She is not on some perch masterminding. I'm projecting here but I think if you can empathize with my sitch, you can get a glimpse into what she is experiencing.
Why is this not registering for you?
And, you keep pushing...
If D is what you want, then cut off all contact and do it. Stop trying to force her to reveal what she a) probably doesn't even know b) doesn't feel safe sharing with you
You are giving her very little choice with this tactic.
