My Intro: Thanks for Reading!

[RedSoxFan]

RSF….is this really what you want? You seem to think there are supposed to be immediate answers right now. Why can’t you just sit still and do nothing? Why do you have to be doing something? I was the same way….and I can’t tell you why. But sitting still, doing very little, saying even less has been so refreshing.
Sit still.

Stronger, I want to do this. I really do. I just can't seem to make it work in practice. If I were taking care of her or just observing at/from a distance I'd be OK with that. I guess it's the OM that I just can't seem to get past.

I just sent her this email. I have a feeling it heads in the oppoosite direction you are suggesting:

W,

You asked for some specificity after our talk the other night. I don’t have much time right now but wanted to share one of the things that I think is really hurting us. Basically we’re not having any good healthy conversations. I feel that you are deliberately avoiding me. What I’m getting from you is the “talk to the hand” response. You mentioned that you felt I wasn’t hearing you/getting it when we were having conversations and you were consequently afraid to do or say anything for fear of sending the wrong message. I’m sorry you’re feeling that way. That has to be a crappy feeling. I honestly don’t recall us having any healthy conversations (started with a purpose and ended with some resolution) that we could point back to and say one way or the other that I was hearing you or you me.

-rsf

Maybe if she just told me exactly where she is I could be OK with that? Maybe she already has?

She has said that my coming back has opened up new hurt. I think she has said that she doesn't want to talk about or deal with reconciliation. She has clearly said several times that the marriage is over in her mind and that hasn't changed.

So what do I do. Sit and wait? Am I trying to find logic and order where there is none?

Would it be wrong of me right now to just ask her instead if she minds telling me what she needs from me right now?