Hi SB, His response isn't that surprising at all - he sounds scared - and he's probably aware that he's losing control of the situation - and so he went out of his way to try to put you back into the role he needs you to play.
My STBX said the exact same things to me after our MC sessions - and I mean the exact same things - she accused me of distorting reality, of putting on a show, of not being myself, of being manic depressive (and needing meds), and on and on and on...she did something that you have to be careful NOT to do - which is, she tried to define and label me - as a way to try and control me (or at least maintain the status quo).
Yes, your H's actions are abusive - and his behavior is abusive - but be careful about falling into defining and labeling him - since that puts us dangerously close to taking on abusive habits ourselves.
As I've mentioned before, I don't think MC is a good call for your situation - there's just too much individual work to be done for you and your H - and right now only one of you is willing to do that.
From my experience, narcissistic abusive partners just cannot separate themselves from the abused partner enough to see that they are different people - and that the abused partner/spouse has a right to his or her own self and own determined agency.
His reactions - his words - speak to why I think it's so important for you to focus your energy on you and your kids - with you as the priority. I think your time would be better spent asking yourself what it was about you and your own needs, questions of self, etc, that brought you to this R/M - and what it is you needed to work through by being in this type of R/M. Which is not to say I think you should revisit your past and spend years in therapy trying to figure out what might have happened when you were three or four years old - rather, I think you might be able to discern a pattern from your relationships with men that will help you break out of that pattern - and work more effectively toward your stronger, healthier self.
Going to MC will just distract from that endeavor - since MC, just by its nature calls for a dialog,and it puts you in the position of having to interact with someone who just cannot respect you as a separate person with her own valid points of view - and her own valid, independent self.
All that said...I have to add that the process of extricating myself from an abusive relationship took a long time - I was just so accustomed to being in it - to defining myself within its parameters - that I did not know how to be outside of it. During one of my most difficult days a friend (who went through something similar) told me that leaving an abusive relationship can be much harder than leaving a non-abusive relationship - since abusive relationships tend to get the people involved a lot more tangled into one another...and finding oneself in that tangled mess - and pulling one's own thread out of that sticky web can seem impossible and intimidating....but it can be done.
I think you're on the right course...just keep staying true to yourself - no matter how much he wants to make you doubt yourself.
