MC was a disaster. We went through three C in 6 months. May be a different story now as we have both grown (up?). Wednesday is mediation and at some point I'll ask if she really wants to move forward with the D.
There is a retro weekend in October on the other side of the state (4 hour drive). I'm thinking that would be a bad idea as it kind of limits the follow ups. Next one close to us is in Feb.
May be putting the cart before the horse. Just want to have options.
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
Geez, I'm going to sound like a broken record here, and NO I'm not getting kickbacks from DB...
But have you tried a DB Coach?
One thing that gets me about traditional MC is that sometimes people will say something like "I'm done. I want out." just to try it on for size. Experimenting, as it were. That may or may not be how they really feel. If the person says that in MC (IC, too), the counselor then begins to support the person in moving on.
I can see why - the counselor isn't supposed to pressure or meddle and is supposed to support the path the client wants. I think, however, that the DB Coaches understand that dynamic a bit better then regular MCs.
You might ask her to try one session. Nothing to lose, etc. I mean, if she's dead set on D, then one little session wouldn't change her mind, right?
Last edited by Dia; 09/22/0903:40 PM.
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
Let's see how things go tomorrow in Mediation. I'm actually looking forward to getting this over with. I will show up well dressed, prepared and confident. This is just another business transaction just like my everyday job.
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
This part of mediation is over and it went well. No big surprises. We actually had lunch after we were done. Wish I could say that went as well. I should have just got on my scooter and headed north.
I basically told W that I am more afraid of being M than of being D at this time. Laid out that I'm not the same person I was a year ago and that I'm scared that being in a R with her or anyone could impact my happiness. Talked about the depression that I've struggled with for years and how I'm coming to grip with that.
What always gets me is she can not communicate at any emotional level. Never could. So it leaves my on the outside trying to figure out where she is. This is so frustrating. So of course I can't shut up so I add some about how empathetic I was to her situation. Actually used the room analogy. She seemed to get that.
There were a few other discussion points but those were the main ones. Bottom line is we are both scared of going back. So what if we didn't have to? No idea how that can even be possible.
I'm tired. Frustrated and feeling extremely vulnerable. I shouldn't have gone to lunch with her. d@#mnit. She's coming to pick up kids in an hour. I don't think I'll be here. I can't face her.
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
