If it's not about the kids, let it go. If she needs specific info re: when lease is up, give it and no more. Let her handle her stuff and it is her stuff now regardless of you status. Don't ask if you're going to be on the car, how she's going to pay for it nothing.
If you're conceerned about finances and you think she's going off the deep end spending wise, protect yourself and your kids. Not sure what state you're in, but if push came to shove and you didn't want to file for D you could file for legal sep.
You don't need to be at her beck and call, and you are. If she texts I think you probably jump. I understand,I do, but stop it, now.
If you have to look at the rest of your life without her in it, who do you want to be? Work on that.
