I think that a side-effect of getting a life for an LBS, is seeing things a bit clearer. You get a more mature, less partial view of your marriage and see things more how they really were. You see yourself as becomming healthy and independent and thus, impowered. I know in my sitch I felt like I took power back from my XW and she did not like it at all. I remember my XW saying it was not fair how fast I was turning my life around while she was still struggling.
This is a sort of cross-roads where the LBS can actually become a WAS. You no longer need the WAW, but possibly want them or at least the wife they once were. That person is gone and as the LBS, we must decide is the new person your wife is can be the kind of person we wish to be with. For the most part, when a man marries a woman, we wish for them to remain the person we married forever. But this is just not realistic. A marriage must change as the spouses grow and change.
I found through my struggle with the XW, when I stopped reacting to her WAW behavior, the process of me taking power over me back began.
Formerly SGfan M:38 W:33 M:8 yrs T:10 yrs Bomb: Dec '08 Separated: 4/18/09 Divorce: 8/28/09 XW Affair began: April 08
