I think on this site EA refers to an emotional connection to someone else which has not yet been sexually consumated. It's still an affair.
A PA refers to out spouses having had s sexual relationship with someone outside the marriage. It's still an affair.
In most cases it starts as an EA and then moves on to PA. I think most PA's are also EA's.
I'm pretty sure one leads to the other.
For a long time I though my wife was in an EA -- sans sex. Then it turns out it was a PA. I was hurt by that knowledge. Increasing degrees of pain.
It all sucks.
I think crossing the line to sex is really pivotal.
--Theoden
Theo, You are correct that both aspects hurt, yet in different ways. As far as the EA aspect I was so hurt that he was "in love" with her and sharing his life with her. When it comes to the PA it is so hard to get "that picture" out of your head.
Just so painful all the way around....
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
stbxH today, asked me for an honest try to reconcile. My biggest fear would not be that they meet for sex again, it is that they will be missing each other as friends, as humans, as partners in life... K
He asked you today after 3 1/2 years? Wow! I totally understand your fear. I remember when H and I attempted several reconciliations only for him to tell me that "too much had been said and done". I never quite understood what he meant on his side. Now, I totally would have to agree with him, "too much has been said and done". I don't see where I could ever get that trust back with him.
I guess you never totally stop being in love with them, but my question to myself would be, could I go through three years of hell like these past years have been for me? I'm coming up on my three year bomb anniversary in Oct.
Keep us updated. At this point in my life I have often wondered what I would do if faced with your situation. My personal belief would be that I couldn't do it, but not sure my heart would agree.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
He moved out Nov 07 and the A was going on since August 06. So, 3 years to be exact. The last 2 years separated he insisted she didnt exist although I had confronted him many times and asked for the divorce. Since Oct-Nov last year we are in pseudo reconcil mode (he requested to come back, I had moved on), but everytime things went bad, he would go back to her without me knowing it. He still insisted she didnt exist. I had not agreed to him moving in again so he slept in his apt.
Feeling puzzled I installed a keylooger and got his and hers passwords. I found the whole story written in her nearly 1000 emails and 400 pics. He cried, admitted it and said he was relieved I found out and told me he wanted me to know but couldnt admit all the lies. I will keep you posted. K
If your husband wanted to reconcile, and you even THOUGHT about it -- most of us would drive down there and smack you in the head.
And Theoden...If thought about it, I would definitely want you to come smack me! I know I would get several smacks from friends on here. LOL No fear, he has betrayed me over and over. The OW can have her prize. Funny thing, I was driving home the other day from my new guy's house and saw the OW...I thought congrats you won the "prize"!
I don't know if relationship with Mr. A will go anywhere, but that's okay, he has shown me there are decent men out there. Sometimes I get cold feet with Mr. A, who knows....
Just had a thought, if I said I was "getting back" with stbxh , would it work getting everyone here? It is a thought...I could get all of my friends on here to visit! It may be painful with all the smacking, but worth it.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
EA or PA are both bad, but As far as I know H didn't technically have either, but almost had a EA and did the porn crap... Hence, I think the EA Hurt much more, and yes if he thought I ever had sex with someone else, he would be devasted. So I think the article is right on.
But I do know that if the PA was ever to come about, Yes I would be distraught.
My H is a good liar, so I will probably never know what has happend in the past.
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
, would it work getting everyone here? It is a thought...I could get all of my friends on here to visit! It may be painful with all the smacking, but worth it. 