Well . . . did your H leave the buffet voluntarily? Did he have a change of heart while he was there?
I don't think my H forms truly close attachments to people. It can look like it sometimes, but events like I've just seen show otherwise.
My H does not have genuine pride in himself in so many ways, certainly not as a husband and a father. His actions don't merit it. I think he is very dependent on the outside applause to keep him feeling okay. In a marriage, inevitably, there will be some behavior you don't applaud, and that's when the trouble starts.
I think my H craves the stability and security of being married and having a home. It's something he never really had. I don't know if my H will eventually want to come home. If he does, I think gucci is right - people need a crisis to make major changes. That's one of many reasons I won't be here.
Q: Do you mean he's not getting the sugar only I can give him?
A: Ya, well, now he's posting pictures of me and the kids on his FB page...
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Well . . . did your H leave the buffet voluntarily? Did he have a change of heart while he was there?
I don't think my H forms truly close attachments to people. It can look like it sometimes, but events like I've just seen show otherwise.
My H does not have genuine pride in himself in so many ways, certainly not as a husband and a father. His actions don't merit it. I think he is very dependent on the outside applause to keep him feeling okay. In a marriage, inevitably, there will be some behavior you don't applaud, and that's when the trouble starts.
I think my H craves the stability and security of being married and having a home. It's something he never really had. I don't know if my H will eventually want to come home. If he does, I think gucci is right - people need a crisis to make major changes. That's one of many reasons I won't be here.
AKA: "Ben the school teacher" --- Me:45, W:41 | Ds:10,12&14 | M:18, T:20 Me: MLC+PA+WAS+Separated 10/08 My Request to Reconcile Denied 7/09 W w/OM 6/09-11/09
Well . . . did your H leave the buffet voluntarily? Did he have a change of heart while he was there?
He's still in it, all access. I have no idea what is in his heart. I see a change but I don't know why. He is still going out and will continue traveling and working with fabulous people.
Maybe it is me that changed. If I had to guess, he is seeing that I could maybe be that kind of person...I can't get into details but I think his curiosity is peeked as to what I'm doing and if I'm getting my own thing going in the biz. But, I am not going to be one of those people. I can be a little fabulous here and there but I'm not gonna be on the cover of a magazine or become a party girl. I don't know how much this is playing into his change.
It is funny, Gucci had referenced how juvenile H is and something about shaking up those roles. Now H is expressing concerns about kid related things that I used to harp on and no longer do...I will never be reckless or abandon my kids but it is kind of cool how if I lighten up and drop the ball a little, he picks it up...
Quote:
I don't think my H forms truly close attachments to people. It can look like it sometimes, but events like I've just seen show otherwise.
My H does not have genuine pride in himself in so many ways, certainly not as a husband and a father. His actions don't merit it. I think he is very dependent on the outside applause to keep him feeling okay. In a marriage, inevitably, there will be some behavior you don't applaud, and that's when the trouble starts.
Man, that is painful to read. Sucks to be them.
Quote:
I think my H craves the stability and security of being married and having a home. It's something he never really had. I don't know if my H will eventually want to come home. If he does, I think gucci is right - people need a crisis to make major changes. That's one of many reasons I won't be here.
I don't think my H forms truly close attachments to people. It can look like it sometimes, but events like I've just seen show otherwise.
My H does not have genuine pride in himself in so many ways, certainly not as a husband and a father. His actions don't merit it. I think he is very dependent on the outside applause to keep him feeling okay. In a marriage, inevitably, there will be some behavior you don't applaud, and that's when the trouble starts.
Man, that is painful to read. Sucks to be them.
Quote:
I think my H craves the stability and security of being married and having a home. It's something he never really had. I don't know if my H will eventually want to come home. If he does, I think gucci is right - people need a crisis to make major changes. That's one of many reasons I won't be here.
Brutal reality. Same in my sitch. Sad.
Makes me wonder sometimes what this stuff is all about. I think some of the above kind of describes where I come from. Not all but some. I want to change, I want to overcome but it's so hard. I'm realizing more and more how much the tools I have to manage life define what I am capable of. That doesn't mean I can't change or acquire new tools but just getting to the point of understanding is so so hard. Then making the changes, well, here I am and we see how that's going. Anyway, it's tough to be on either end of this stuff.
AKA: "Ben the school teacher" --- Me:45, W:41 | Ds:10,12&14 | M:18, T:20 Me: MLC+PA+WAS+Separated 10/08 My Request to Reconcile Denied 7/09 W w/OM 6/09-11/09
Makes me wonder sometimes what this stuff is all about. I think some of the above kind of describes where I come from. Not all but some. I want to change, I want to overcome but it's so hard. I'm realizing more and more how much the tools I have to manage life define what I am capable of. That doesn't mean I can't change or acquire new tools but just getting to the point of understanding is so so hard. Then making the changes, well, here I am and we see how that's going. Anyway, it's tough to be on either end of this stuff.
Good stuff RSF...when you see it, you CAN do something about it.
