I am scared that I messed up...

[Coach]

I feel that it is not, because we keep talking about the same stuff and she can't move past it yet.

You want her to vent on you. She is angry (a good thing) and needs to get it out. As her husband your wife needs to know that she can challenge you emotionally and you won't react poorly. Get a spew raincoat and let her vent. Your job is to listen, validate her feelings and don't try to fix it. She can't move past it because of you not her.
Next time she starts bringing up the past try this: look in her eyes, listen to her emotions and validate how she feels ("I understand why you would feel ___________ about _________.") If she gets angry just remember that I told you that it was good that she spews on you. When she finishes talking ask her, "Is there anything else you want to tell me?" then when it's over ask, "How can I help you?"

This needs to be sincere and heartfelt or it will backfire. You can handle it.

Cheers