Moving on with my life!

[Startingover2]

Jon..not at all. I love the input. I know I am super weak.

[volleydog]

I know I am super weak.

Step one no more thoughts like this...EVER!!!

[Startingover2]

Going to a Monday Night Football party at a restraunt/bar here locally. I won't drink and will only stay a few hours. My d18 is staying with baby. Looking forward to it. I feel guilty though.

Looks like exh isn't going to make his visit today. His loss. I am dressed and looking hot!

How's that for a better attitude?

[S.T. _I Made It!]

I'm sure you DO look hot!

now, this has nothing to do with exh and why your not together.

but his comment about you not changing. By the posts you have made, you aren't changing. as JonF said, you keep talking and talking about him and what he's doing. because of this, I KNOW you are not changing you because you are focused on him.

I'm not saying that he is right, I'm saying this for YOU. He's got a worldfull of changes to make for himself and that's a whole different story, but YOU know what you can do to change, and we know you have the ability to do it and the will to do it, but you just have to make that step and take the action. I know you've made changes since your sitch started, but you need to continue moving forward, not moving backward.

I think for your exh point of view, I think he does want to have the family back, but he lives in the moment. so when he's not with you, he needs a ride, or he needs some time of whatever, and so the gf is there. And because of his alcoholism I believe this just makes it all that much worse.

I'm glad you didn't respond to his comments, there probably wasn't anything you could have said.

I'm glad that you are going to make efforts to be active and social. it doesn't mean you have to take lots of time away from baby, but give yourself time to be you and grow into a better you. It's important for you to take care of yourself, otherwise you can't be the best mom/person you can be.

[Startingover2]

Last night was fun. I was gone for a whole 3 hours. Baby did fine with d18 and s16, but she was really clingy to me when I got home. We had alot of laughs and I didn't drink a drop of alcohol...just Sprite. Never know who is watching and I was driving as well.

I think the changes exh wants in me is mostly an excuse. He doesn't want me independent. He wants me completely miserable and willing to take any crumb he throws my way even if it means having gf's and me. He makes comments that I seem happy and that makes him angry. Whatever.

So today I have to go to the DMV. I realized yesterday that my drivers license exprired back in MAY! I never take my license out for anything and didn't know it expired. I think I have to take the test again too What if I don't pass? Poor baby will have 2 parents that don't drive!

Wish me luck.

[blindsided1]

Good luck. Glad you had a good time last night. Thinking of you

[JayMan]

SO2 - isn't it amazing how your outlook changes when you get around other people? I remember believing everything my W told me was "wrong" with me, and I continually see her anger because my kids love me so much, and I'm so happy.

After being confirmed by my kids, family, friends, business acquaintances, associates, and even complete strangers, I started to realize that W was the ONLY person in the world who thought I was a bum. That tells me that perhaps the problem isn't with ME!

(disclaimer: I realize I've not achieved perfection yet, just making a point!)

[Startingover2]

I passed! Yeah...thank goodness.

You are right Jon..it does help to be with others. Actually just in the past few weeks have I really done anything social. The past 14 months has just been baby and I. Gives you a bit more confidence that you are not the shrew your exspouse makes you out to be. I know I won't be able to do a fraction of what these single people with much older kids do, but its nice to be included when I can.

I know that exh is so chronically unhappy and probably never will be settled with me or anyone else. A friend told me he took off his "in a relationship" status for FB. Bet married gf is not happy. Oh well.

Oh, has anyone seen the movie Obsessed? Watched it the other day. That husband was pretty strong in that movie. Admire his integrity for the mostpart. Could totally relate to the pain in the wife when she thought he may have cheated. The OW made me sick how she preyed on the married man. So disgusting.

[Startingover2]

Well, exh is back to being sort of a jerk. Why does it have to be this either really hot or really cold thing? All I did was tell him I won't have a relationship with him until he gives up other women and drinking and he blames me and becomes a jerk. Don't get it.

[blindsided1]

Stick to your guns. You will have it NO OTHER WAY. The ball is in his court. If he is upset, HE needs to make a decision.

Hang in there. Love you and Ha