Ah, SP, the emotional rollercoaster! Someone should have reminded you that any time there is a big swoop up, it is always followed by a big swoop down.
Hindsight being 20/20, your story is the primary reason I have pretty much kept my moments of confiding to individuals I knew wouldn't hold it against W - never mutual friends. But, I learned that the hard way - it always comes back to bite you.
However, I'm fairly certain that I'm relaying information that you were already fully aware of.
What I will tell you is that you have reached a point of control. I heard someone say on here, many moons ago, "They who care the least about their marriage or relationship controls it." My sense is that this is where you are, and I'm right with you.
A part of me deeply, dearly loves W - but most of me simply wants her to go away and take her anger, and bitterness, and inability to reason with her. Another poignant observation is that you go through the phases of wanting to save your marriage, to hurt, to anger, to disappointment, but you know you're done when you reach the point where you're a little disgusted.
I've personally cut all communication at this point - I don't want to reach the disgusted point. She is, after all, a woman that I loved more deeply than I can even put into words, and the mother of my incredible children.
I'm not sure if I can offer any assistance other than to say that I empathize - a small part of me wants to assure you that setbacks are normal, sometimes it's one step forward, two steps back.
However, sometimes there is a point where it's time to embrace that new future, move on with life, and if W wants to get her head on straight, perhaps there will be room for her.
