T2: Sage is right on. You will likely get all of those things, but not in your timeframe, and you may have to hint or even initiate some of those things.
T2, I want to give you a little background on my sitch that might give you a little more perspective on what has been my recent events.
We have been together for going on 10 years. When we first got together, Wolfie said he wanted to get married...and we started to plan it. We got as far as picking the place, making a budget and saving.
Wolfie went back to school and money was tight for about 2 years after that. Just after he got out of school and got a job, we had a big thing come up with his youngest son.
Wolfie's ex-wife had custody of S(8 at the time) and her two other boys. Her kids were taken away due to her and her boyfriend neglecting and abusing them. We spent everything we had to get custody of S and get him up here with us. Had to get a bigger house to accomodate larger family.
After a few years, after we got back on our feet financially, I started mentioning the getting M thing and got the big blow off. About 3 years ago, the boys started mentioning it and Wolfie gave me a ring that Christmas. Then the subject got dropped. No planning, no mention, nothing.
About a year after that, he started going into depression..and well, you all know how that played out.
One of the things that came up in our counseling was how insecure and humiliated I have felt about the not-carrying-through with the wedding thing. I am also not willing to live with the results of one of us dying without having legal standing. As the law stands now, his military survivor's benefits will not apply to me if we aren't married, and both of our social security monies will go to our EX-spouses which is completely unacceptable.
Given this scenario, I think my folks are right: It IS about damn time!
