kalni...I agree with frank_d. Dr. Gray even says that the hope for reconciliation is a form of denial and that broken relationships cannot be rebuilt until they are totally dismantled and rebuilt from scratch.

Unless your H is willing to do the work, you will live in a constant state of distrust. You will wonder where he is at night if he is not home on time. You will be predisposed to snooping, etc.

Virtually ALL books written on infidelity discuss that the R/M is doomed unless that spouse that committed the infidelity is completely able to realize their mistake, recommit, apologize with sincerity and do the necessary work to heal.

Kalni...what do you need? What do you want to hear from him or see him to do that would heal you quickly, if at all? Will he do what is needed for you and will he stick to the plan?

A lot of questions.

I am not telling you what to do, but, sometimes, we need to follow a plan. Plans can always be changed.

FIB

Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;