HOME AGAIN....ROUND 2

[sage]

I told (and shamefully admit it here in writing) that I was a little jealous of my sister poster whose H has just returned home and her H gave her a new ring to commemorate the event. It started me to thinking about how uneventful my Hs return home was.

Hi T2,

I think it's great that you're acknowledging how you feel. I can relate to much of what you've expressed. While my h never literally left home, he certainly did figuritively and now that he seems "back" there are times when I get caught up in wanting a decisive statement...a definitive gesture that says "I'm back to stay".

My thought process on this is sort of two fold...

1. H was quite verbal and communicative when dropping the bomb...how 'bout a similar level of communication for the desicion to stay?

and

2. When I go off my diet or lapse on a promise or something...I make a mental assertion of "ok, I'm BACK on track"...shouldn't a m. get the same treatment?

Not helping much here yet, I suppose...just wanted you to know I'm sometimes "there" too.

I want:

Words of gratitude that I've allowed him to come home, that I stayed the course and let him go thru his 'crisis' and did not abandon him or our M.

I want a thank you.

I want WORDS of assurance that he's in this for the long haul, no matter what this time.

I want him to tell me he loves me FACE 2 FACE, not on the damn phone.

I want HIM to say he'd like a recommitment ceremony.

Well...I think these are all perfectly reasonable things to want...and I suspect that you'll get most if not all of them.

It likely won't be in your desired timeframe...patience!

and any of them may not completely occur w/o intervention on your part...if you read LL's thread .. she's been hoping for a LONG time that her h would ask her to put her rings back on...well, it occurred this weekend with a wonderful (!!!) first step from LL! My point? That some of these things may require some input from you eventually when the time is rith.

My goal? That sometime my h will "re-propose" to me. I would love a recommitment ceremony as well...with brand new vows.

I want alot of things that I don't think he can or is willing to give me. And I want to not resent that fact so damn much.
T2

Beginner's mind....Beginner's mind.

I know it's hard. Give your h a chance to show you what he IS capable of giving you. It may take a while...perhaps much longer than you want. Look for babysteps...and you're right...letting go of the resentment will be a very positive step for you!

Sage