do you know for a fact she's still seeing the OM? i read through your whole thread but i forget if you're sure it's still happening.
about scheduling counseling, i'd say don't let it be totally her responsibility, give it several days or a week and then ask if she's picked anybody yet, maybe give her two or three options, but don't force her to make the phonecall. it would be best if she did, but she could just put it off, even if she wants to work on the R, it's also going to be really difficult for her.
don't rush it, but i'd say seize the opportunity. once she's back in the process, she's less likely to change her mind.
stick with "i will be able to forgive you," but not "i have already forgiven you." you know what i mean? eventually you'll be able to say that forgiveness will be dependent on real change on her part, and you won't scare her off right off the bat.
i wouldn't bother demanding yet that she stop seeing the OM. . .
good luck!
me 30 WAW 30 M 8 yrs T 9.5 yrs
3 cats 9,6,6
W left 5/31/09 W stopped most contact 06/26/09 W filed 7/22/09 (haven't been served)
