Interesting. If you are completely ready to go through with D, it might be worth a last letter getting it all out.
I think that would definitely work for me now (though I agree, don't say you weren't able to do things differently)...
However, if I had OM, I would want to be left alone to digest and make my decision and it would probably take me a while of being completely left alone by H. I would want it to feel clean and safe and like I could digest it all and be entitled to come to my own conclusion. She did come to her conclusion but I still feel that you never really backed off completely.
I would want the/a letter and I would want time to process it.
