I just found your thread yesterday and I don't have a thread of my own yet..........please forgive my interruption of the current discussion......but I noted something in the background you gave on your initial post that mirrors what my H did when he left (1 year ago) and I am hoping that you can give me some insight into his thought process. My H left in anger, was very single-minded (never open to working on marriage, no OM or OW involved) and filed for D within 3 months. He said I worked too much (I did), he felt abandoned and it reminded him of his childhood with alcoholic mother and absentee father. Around the same time that H filed a miracle happened: I was offered a job with 20 hr/wk less work and more income, so I took it. After I switched jobs H began to talk to me (2/09) and since then we have moved into friendship stage, almost a stone's throw from romance (we've shared some nice informal visits/drinks on the patio at my house, friendly lip kisses and a little flirtation), but I can't crack his wall to get to the next stage. D will be final in 6 weeks if H doesn't request a delay. No sign of that happening. I've worked with a fabulous DB coach for the past year and it is only because of Jody and advice from this board that I've gotten this far with H.
You stated in your background that after the "initial anger-fueled filing" you "continued the process not because (you) wanted to but because there was so much pressure from so many people....to finalize it". What motivated you to get past that peer pressure to change your mind about the D? Did you actually delay finalizing your D? or did the paperwork just get so bogged down that the process was forced to slow down? Do you have any ideas for how H could "save face" if he was open to slowing things down? You may have some thoughts on this from your own experience with your H too.
Again, sorry to highjack but any thoughts you or someone else might have would be appreciated.
