Your saying all the right things...which is great. Not used to to many newbies having such a good grasp of this.
Two suggestions for you.
One - Read something for FUN besides all these self help realtionship books, you really only need one, and they all tend to say the same things...plus you can get information overload.
Two - Wife - "You should move out." You - "Blow me." (In a nice way.)
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
