We had a R convo where we talked about feeling like we'd turned a corner. I have these last things worked out. So I am planning to write down everything I want to say, and then decide if I should email him with it, or tell him out right.
I am praying about what to say and when to say it, and I feel like God is leading me carefully right now. And I trust the outcome even if I don't like what happens next.
You know in the Bible, Queen Esther was very careful about how she broached a life or death subject with the king, and made sure she had a nice dinner for him first. ;P
I guess I will tell what my dream was about even though everyone's going to think I'm a kook. I'm not a new agey kind of person or anything. But I'd prayed about my life and being afraid to trust in any kind of "miracle" when statistically I should just get out. I am very afraid to trust him, even though he's doing and saying the right things.
But anyway...I fell asleep and then dreamed I was looking for some certain kind of plant, I was in the woods, searching and searching for a certain kind of leaf. And then some wild...unicorns...ran by. And I was like, no way. And in the dream I took a pic with my camera phone to prove it was real, and it was. In the dream I mean. And then I woke up and I knew God was telling me to trust HIM at least, and that things would be okay. He was giving me an ordinary miracle. Because the funny thing was they weren't big majestic shining unicorns, they were like ordinary old ponies with a little horn.
Now how corny and stupid does that sound. But anyone who has followed along with me from way back is probably laughing right now. Because I once made a big deal about how I live in the real world and don't believe in unicorns and fairies. Blah blah...and I love to be sarcastic about stupid unicorns now.
And...then I saw one. OMG this sounds so insane.
I just can't quite put it into the right context as it came to me. But anyway, hopefully somebody got a laugh out of it.
