I will second this - your W has shared immensely here, but her emotions will change. She was caught up because she loves her daughter, and can't stand seeing them sad.
My W did the same thing - came to me sobbing, holding me, etc. I only asked her for marriage counseling - refused intimacy except for a hug, and made it clear to her that it wasn't because I didn't love her, but because I wanted to do things right, starting with me.
A week later, the old bitterness had crept back in, and she was off again. I did everything absolutely right, and it still didn't work.
I'm not trying to poop the party, but I would call a counselor now - don't wait on her - get it scheduled (unless she is the type that really wants to be involved). Pick someone neutral, but make sure you ask them if they believe in marriage and commitment. Many counselors counsel that you should basically do whatever you "feel" like in the moment!
I haven't read all of your situation, but I'm happy for where things can go!
