What you really need to deal with are the logistics and boundaries (she can't keep pulling the last minute stuff etc).
You have the same issue today that you came onto the site with which is separating the two issues, your R with her vs. your agreement regarding the kids.
You say you can't take this anymore so as opposed to repeating that you want to end it (which is not actually possible), you have no choice but to deal with it...meaning, what relationship are you willing to have under the current circumstances? What are the boundaries between the two of you and what are the logistical agreements that you stick to. That is where your focus should be.
I'm sure I can ultimately get the kid thing squared away. The relationship is the big deal. accepting that the marriage is permanently over is definitely and end for me that would bring closure. For sure W and the kids do not go away but the world looks dramatically different at that point. I will grieve and move on. Don't think I'm built so much for the two track stuff. Much easier to advise on it than to put it into practice.
If I'm headed for the big D we had better work on your sitch ;-)
Have to see W this afternoon for D's appointment. Guess I'll do nothing until then. Blue day.
You're blue and you want closure. You are going to have to deal with your R with your W. Whether it is going dark or friendly or whatever, you need to establish some kind of ground rules and see what works. I think taking the kids as much as possible is great. However, I think there should be some boundaries regarding notice and sticking to agreements.
And all of this is of course with your aforementioned disclaimer...that I am just some shmo on the internet giving free advice.
