Quote: What if you realized that he compartmentalized the infidelity to the point where he could have been working on things with you in MC--quite sincerely, and still see the OW?
I'd run like my life depended on it, because that realization would tell me that he could continue to betray me, even now and justify it because he's HERE being a 'better husband.'
You then asked:
Quote: If you accepted that the infidelity had very little to do with you, but you still wanted to repair and improve your M, how would that change your perception?
I have come to terms with the fact that all his 'justifications' for his cheating were excuses NOT justifications. There IS NO justification for betraying someone. Betrayal is an act of cowardice. I see my H as a 'sick man'....lost in some self created hell and torment, and he desperately wants to attribute the cause of all his pain to someone, and HE picked ME to be the bad guy.
Granted, I was far from perfect, but even in my darkest hours emotionally with him, it NEVER occurred to me to go screw someone else to make myself feel better.
I want my H to revisit his self placating justifications and SEE them for the self deception they were. I want him to see the horror of his choices and the pain those choices caused ME, our M and ultimately, himself too. I want him to own his cowardice, admit his fears, and face his demons so that I NEVER have to be dragged down this life altering road ever again. T2
