K4D Rising #4

[K4D]

25,

I didn't say that. But I have enough on my plate right now. I'm not quite as depressed as I used to be. Why does it seem like I am? I don't like being alone for long periods of time. That can make anyone depressed. But I am a people person. Actually I am a family person. I have never had a big group of friends. I'm not the life of the party.

Professional Help. I agree there are many resouces posted here. And all have good merit. And none of have been ignored.

I know... you think I am emotionally disturbed and clinically depressed. Oh, and I watched the Cowboys lose last night on TV. Dang it.

Anyways, I'm ok for now. I'm not jumping out any windows. I have some plans for me and my girls this week that should be fun. I am also rearranging the apartment this week to give D11 my room and me and D7 will take the bigger back room with the twin beds so that D11 can have the privacy she has been asking for. That made her happy.

D11 got into a bit of a tizzy last night about D7 and her sharing the same room. Then D11 went on to tell me that we shouldn't have to live in an apartment and she should be able to have her own room and we should be able to be a family and not live like this.

I said have you expressed your feelings to your mom? She said no. I said why not. She said because she doesn't listen and doesn't have the time of day. I said why are you telling me. She said because I listen to her. So I said why doesn't your mom listen. She said because W is either working, or cleaning, or making dinner, or talking on the phone to her friends or playing on the computer. So I said well, what is it that you and D7 are doing. She said just watching TV. She said W does ask them how their day was. But I guess D11 feels like W won't listen to her with regard to her not liking this separation. D11 says that her mom's friends are more important to her. D11 can't stand her mom's best friend. She says her mom talks about her best friend this and her best friend that and it drives D11 nutty.

W's best friend has been a big supporter of whatever makes W happy.

Last week D11 told me I need to get a better paying job so we could do more.

My girls have their appointment again tomorrow night.

Last night when W dropped off my kids, she said that my place looked nice. I had cleaned it up and done a bit of organizing before she brought the kids over. That is the first time she has complimented on anything in forever.

It is another part of changing. Learning to keep things how they should be and making a habit of it. Little things here and there will get noticed with time. I am working on being more attentive on the little things that get noticed.

Kevin