Ok, really really think about this. He says he wants out. He says he wants a legal separation first and if you give that to him, he will go to marriage counseling. How sure are you about OW? Has he admitted this? Or are you just suspicious? Lately, he’s been pretty mean to you and pretty horrible about S as it relates to discipline but good otherwise, right? He’s been sort of jerky about coverage for S too, but more that he’s around but isn’t very firm about when he’s going to be making it hard for you to get out and do stuff, correct? Every now and then, there are good conversations, break throughs if you will, and you get to talk to the guy you married while the crazy guy who’s been around lately seems to take a break, right? There are moments when it seems like he misses you and wants to be around, even spending the night the other night, right? Is there still intimacy between you two? None of my business really….but it could be a good sign if you are.
At this point, I think you need to really back off, which you admit is hard, but you’ve got to do it. It’s for your sanity. There haven’t been enough good days. Think of backing off as cleaning off the slate to create more good in the marriage than there is bad.
