Hi Holding,

Thanks for the words of wisdom.

"He is also wondering about the happiness part. "
You're right, I know you're right.

"As a man, he may feel that he came back, so that in itself has shown you that he is over it... but for us, I don't think that is enough."
You're probably right on target there too

I did read After the Affair and, I gave it to him to read when I thought he and I were trying to reconcile back in Sept of last year. We were seeing a MC and he was chirping away during those sessions, crying, sharing, 'understanding'...and all the while screwing OW #2 . So I guess he didn't even attempt to 'read' the book, it was just another BS act to him that he was.

And, believe it or not, I do think of all of you when I post and that's why sometimes I beat myself for what I do post because I don't want my backslides and insecurities to mess with anyone elses resolve to succeed in reconciliation. I'm afraid I'm a good example of a BAD example of someone in reconciliation .
"Act as if"....I know that should be my mantra....I just wish I could dedicate myself to doing it.
T2