I worked 16 hrs today and when I got home...I was tired. Well, I'm not in the house a half an hour when a Hall & Oats special comes on the Bio channel. "Good" I think to myself, maybe they'll play those two songs he made me listen to in the car in July when we went out to dinner and had a super weekend together. He said they reminded him of me and they were love songs....WELL the FIRST damn song they play is "Sarahs Smile"....GREAT that's the name of the OW # 1 So I can't help myself and I say, "Is THIS song on the CD you made me listen too that day?" "No, he says (not catching on yet) that's a new CD." Then it hits him..and he says, as he reaches for the remote, "Oh I get it, never mind." And zap he flips the channel. I sit there quiet for a second or two as crap runs through my head and I say, "IT's okay, you can watch the show. I just had a momentary brain fart. It takes me a minute to recover, and remember that I can't control what you think or feel. So please, really, you're welcome to watch the show." He ignores me. So...there's some of that OLD BEHAVIOR jumpin right out there. I am sorta mad at myself, but I'm also thinking, "Okay, I was an ass but I did attempt to recover HOWEVER HE made NO ATTEMPT to use it as an opportunity to REASSURE he went immediately into the "there she goes again" mode instead of taking a minute to think, "Gee maybe I should say something like that song means nothing to me and never has, never will. ILY." Crazy me expecting HIM to do something different HUH? T2
