Damn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is this crap even worth it!!!!! I told myself I was only going to talk about those 3 things. And when she brought up the relationship I got into it too. DAMMMMMMMM!!!! She is so f hard headed. She says I turn XXXX around and blame her. Wtf!!!! I just wanted her to know the faults between us yet she can't even see past that XXXX. I'm not trying to blame her. I'm not trying to win. I just want a better understanding. XXXX!!!!
Understandably, she is the "type" of person who cannot accept nor easily get over the trauma of being cheated on. What you need to understand is the extent of damage you have done to this relationship and that it may not be reversable. It is going to require a complete change of her heart from here on out, and honestly, it may be something she never gets over. Which is something you probably did not want to hear; but YOU CHEATED ON HER! and that is what you need to understand foremost. It hurts.
I am not sure how you think arguing with her and getting intoxicated at the same location(club) she is at is going to help your situation any. Nor that snooping or confronting any other man will either. She said she is done. And this self-righteous behavior will never help your situation. She may or may not need time to grieve over this situation. She may need time to get a few things out of her system before she comes to see you in a different light. Then again she may never be able to accept sorry for answer. You will need to accept her desicions and agree with them. Arguing with her and further disrespecting her will not win her back.
Interestingly, you pointed out some important aspects of your relationship (that may in fact announce that she was done) prior to your affair. Her EA with her ex. Her expectation of you cooking and cleaning and bathing the children, your dead sex life, going out "with the girls" 2 nights a week. (What is so inticing to a group of young females that they would hang out at a bar till 4 in the morning?) Your affair may have been the straw that broke the camel's back. At least you have children with her. What are you doing to shine as a father and as a possible man to come back to? I hope you dont think pointing out her faults and expecting her to see past your affair is positive.
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I don't know but with her friends the first words that came out of there mouths was "lets go to the club and find you a new man and forget about that loser."
WORD! Sorry to use you as an example but this is repeated over and over again on this forum in not so elegant terminology. Nothing works better when your spouse is seeing someone else then to drop contact and start dating yourself. It is the ultimate wake up call of what there is to lose. For those who doubt, here is a prime example.
