Not Me...Ever part 2

[Serenity13]

(((Wifey)))

Thank you as always for your wonderful input...

I have also started journaling just to keep my thoughts all clear...

I did go out on Saturday however didn't drink...

Had to many on Friday thinking I would just drink the thoughts away and ease the unbelievable pain another human has caused but it didn't work...

I went to Church yesterday and felt much better...

H finally called last night to talk to the little one (been 8 days since he has made any contact)...

I let the little one answer the phone, sat there as they talked and then once my son was done he asked H if he wanted to talk to me - H yelled the word No and then hung up...

Never happened before and I felt like he had slapped me...

My little one stated he hated his Dad for hurting my feelings....

Told him I was fine but I think he was reacting to the shock which probably crossed my face...

I HATE that he still causes a reaction like that in me and it would be much easier if I didn't love him nor care anymore...

Fine he wants to blame me for all the wrong that has ever gone on in his 41 years of life however don't subject our 6 year old to it...

Either that or his ftgf was right there and he was showing his ass for her...

Someday I am going to wake up and no longer feel this pain - That is my prayer for today