hey coach got any advice

[texasbobby]

im having a extremly difficult time detacting as well. i really miss what i had. i really do need to stop being angry with her family, if it were my daughter i would do the same. i had great hopes for us a great paying job, better schools for the kids, and the medical field here is in great shape.

her father told me she has always been afraid of change and to take a break for awhile. he said he would talk to her for me a few months ago.

i dont know what to do anymore. i really think i would have a much better chance at this if i were in va. at least then she could have somekind of interaction with me.

guess i just thought this would turn around a little by now. her step father said he thinks she is done she had a taste of freedom. i dont see how being a single mother can be that great of a life.

i really dont believe there is another man. she doesnt have time. if she did it just a ea. right now i think she is just trying to take care of the kids and figure out her next move.
she was angry i got a lawyer.

[Greek]

"just a ea"

Tex ~~~ emotional connections for women are a big deal. They are THE DEAL, really.

Let her be angry. She can't just throw around the D word and expect you to...what?...roll over? You must protect yourself, and also, give her the recommended dosage of real single mother, divorced status, life.

Greek

[texasbobby]

im trying to let her see that single mother isnt easy , but her family is helping out so much with the kids she doesnt see it yet.

funny thing is that no one was ever willing to help out with the kids before now they all do.

[texasbobby]

i just got off the phone with my kids. they are excited about me coming into town next month. im not i have to go to court with w.

the kids still think my wife is going to change her mind. this is extremely hard on them. part of me is scared if it doesnt work out they will blame me.

im hoping my wife seeing me will help the situation. im also hoping that the whole court thing will also show her life isnt going to be as easy as she would like.

[texasbobby]

well sunday i called to talk to the kids, she answered and we talked for a few min. just as friends.i asked if she could send me a few pics of the kids,she said she would but i know she wont. why would she try to keep my life with them to just a few phone calls. that doesnt make sense to me.

[BrokenTrust]

TexasBobby,

First... breath.... remember to breath.

You are going to VA in one month... use that time constructively. Do what you can about GALing and rediscovering who you are and becoming who you want to be.

You have to prepare yourself for the possibility that her family is encouraging her to stay in VA, change is not only hard for her but they will be a long way from their grandchildren so of course they are doing everything in their power to make her being in VA easy. You can't fight them on this because no matter what you do it will be turned into "see, he wants to take you away from us". Instead you need to focus on keeping close contact with your children and reminding them every single time you speak to them that you love them and miss them with all your heart but at the same time you have to remain the Father, and resist the urge to become the Best Friend.

I applaud that you got a Lawyer, a very wise move on your part to protect yourself and your rights as a Father... she may be mad because you beat her to the punch or it could be that when you did it all became real. She made a statement and you took her seriously... when what she has done might not have really sunk in yet.

Keep breathing... keep strong and keep posting, it really does help to vent.

[texasbobby]

broken trust , thanks for the input.

ive told her several times i will pack up and come back. she says she wants her own life with her kids and doesnt need the drama with me coming back.

everything she says is bs but i think she is starting to believe her own bs.

[Coach]

[doesnt need the drama with me coming back.

Describe your job history since you have been married.

How many problems have you had with drinking and the law?

everything she says is bs but i think she is starting to believe her own bs.

Really?

[texasbobby]

6 years ago i was drinking to much, got a dwi and continued drinking .guess the stress of raising a family on my own and everything eles ,it was a way out. she told me six years ago it had to stop or she was leaving.

i put the cork in the bottle that sec., didnt drink anything for years untill we would go out together.


she says she was never going to move here, she sold the house with her realitor,packed the house, brought family hierlooms,found the apt and put it in her name,and found a school for the kids. it wasnt until she went back to va she got weird talking about forever and wanting to stay there longer.
then out of the blue she was filing for divorce. funny thing is that she wanted to renew our vows the day before.

[texasbobby]

ell coach im wondering if it sounds like she just needs more time since i cant see her and we rarely talk . whats your input ?