So yesterday was a surprising day. H was going to pick up the kid's from his parent's house and asked me before he left if I minded that he take the kids for an activity that he always wished he'd done with his father when he was a kid. Of course I didn't mind. I was privately a little surprised in a good way at his initiative in doing something with the kids...he hasn't done a lot of this in the past.
I used the time to take a really nice long walk. When I got home they still weren't home but when the car finally pulled up I opened the door and on spur of the moment decided to actually go outside to greet him and the kids. Something I have not done in a long time I realized.
I can't say for certain but I think the greeting might have set off more chain of goodwill that lead to a very nice evening together. H washed some clothes and actually put some of mine in the basket! (Source of past friction that he often was only washing his own clothes.) When he remembered it was a game night, I turned on the game for him with no complaint and watched part of the game with him(Source of past friction that I would complain about him watching sports.) Later after I put the kids to bed he sat on the same couch and we watched a movie together - no computer on his lap!!!! (Years ago he started spending almost all of his evenings on his computer.)
I think I'm starting to believe that how you say hello and good-bye to your H is really very, very important!
