Hello all, This is the first time I have done anything like this on a website. That is how desperate I feel. I am looking for some help fomr those of you with experience.
Here is my story.
My W and I have been married over 16 years and have 4 children. Our marriage was great in so many ways over the years. About 3 years ago my wife was upset at me for not listening to her which led her to stand up for herself. She denounced her previous religious beliefs and quit attending church with the family. At that time she was also calling an old male friend who lived a distance away. She adamantly has denied any EA and PA.
Things have been rough making adjustments over the past 3 years but about 6 weeks ago she went totally cold on me. No more intimacy, no kissing, hugging, etc.. When I asked what I had done she become angry and said it was not me. I, like I typicaly do, "pursued, and kept asking. That is when I got the ILYBIANILWY. I was devastated and still am.
Fortunately I found the DR book and began putting 180's into practice. I started with by not texting her or calling her during the day, no touching her or trying to giver her a kiss. After about 3 days she actually layed her head on my shoulder in bed. The next day she walked up to me and gave me a kiss on the lips and then kissed my head later that day. I thought things were headed the right way but she has since gone cold again.
I know I should not feel this way but I feel like I am physically disgusting to her. She has told me that she gets her affection from the kids and it is obviuous that she does not need physical contact with me.
We have not been intimate in at least 6 weeks and there is no sign that it will ever happen again. That breaks my heart.
I know I have contributed to this because I am "needy", needing reassurance that she loves me, that she finds me attractive, that I am a good lover, etc.. She is tired of trying to reassure me.
Although I contributed I do not want this M to end in a D or a S. I want to be loved. I look in her eyes now and I cannot believe how much I love her, even though there is no reciprocation. She adamantly denies any A or MLC.
I need to know there is hope that she can love me again, that she can make love with me again, that we can find new joy. i cannot seem to feel that hope since she is so cold with me.
please help. I cnanot afford a DB coach right now.
