Just wanted to write some stuff here and maybe get some people's thoughts etc.
I'm early 30's (male) and have been married now 3 years. Our sex life has never been great and it's fair to say I'm the more highly sexed spouse. It's been a bit of an issue on and off but I just kept thinking it was going to get better when my wife worked less, when this happened or that happened etc. It came to a head earlier this year (about April I think) and we decided to try and do something about it. I got TSSM book and read it and then gave it to my wife to read. She's not the biggest reader and managed about half way through and that was about that. She's not the most open of individuals and tends to keep things inside rather than bring them out. This is what her family is like and what she grew up with.
We were away in the summer and again our sex life was pretty much non-existent and it was really hard to feel pushed away and isolated when I was hoping we would be able to be close. When we came back I basically said we can't go on like this and we won't unless we get something sorted. We got another copy of the TSSM book and have been reading a chapter a week and then spending some time on a Saturday morning discussing it. It's helped a bit and it does seem like she's making more of an effort but we set aside that time on a Saturday morning and a Tuesday evening to try and be a little more intimate. Problem is that there have been a couple of times over the last 4 – 6 weeks when this hasn’t really gone anywhere and it’s just really hard because that’s (another) rejection. Or if she does something it’s like she’s not really there and just doing it but hating it and if that’s the case I’d rather not do it either, that’s not how it’s supposed to be.
This of course leads to tension and then I get distant because I’m feeling pushed away and sensitive which makes her want to do things even less. The last week or so have been really hard and I’m really starting to wonder if we can make it through this. We just seem to be coming back to the same things and not really making any headway.
