not as ok as I thought I was

[happycamper]

Thanks Cat for your words.

Sometimes I find it hard coming here - there are many memories associated with this site of trauma and chaos.

XH has been on the phone today. He's struggling very much with my decision to finally end our relationship and he thinks I could have survived all the damage his behaviour did to our relationship. He misses the children terribly and he's very unhappy, particularly now his new relationship is in trouble.

I feel very, very guilty. He's saying he only revealed to me all about his past behaviour, and the fact he wanted to end our relationship, because he was having an affair. He says he didn't really know what was going on and what damage it would cause. He's inferring that somehow I "tricked" him, but taking him seriously and reacting to the bomb in an unexpected way.

I just want to move on and put the past and the pain behind me but I can't.... :-(

I know some people have really awful divorces where their spouses are violent etc, and I know mine isn't bad really. Just having a low day.