Do the WAS really waver that much? Over the past couple of years at varioius points it seems my ex actually was able to make some efforts to get along, but quickly took a turn right back to the issuesville.
Yes. It IS what they do. It's called the rollercoaster.
Get one of the books, either DB or DR, and read one or more. They will help explain a lot. And, no, I don't get any commission.