I read through your posting and something you said in the earlier posts struck me.
He moved out of the house and into the house of your MIL and SIL? He 'threatened' to get an apartment but hasn't.....
Why in the world would he want to do that? He has females washing his clothing and fixing his favorite meals the exact way he likes them (have never met a man that did not find comfort in mom's cooking) so he can revert to the 'before I had the responsibility of a wife and kids' fantasy. If he got his own apartment he would have to cook and clean... that does not fit into his plans of having no responsibility.
You then said that you are training for marathons because you want to... and that you will be in two races that he will be in in the future. Are you choosing marathons because he will be there? Why not triathalons?
You also mentioned "I just wonder if going NC is right for my situation because he responds well to my texts and emails. And doesn't when I don't. And how else will he see my positive, confident attitude?"...
((((((hugs))))))
You need to remember that you are changing for you... not for him, becoming the best person you can be for you and you alone.
How will he see it? With NC he will start to wonder... "where is she? What is she doing? Why is she not seeking my approval?"
You cannot show you have changes by flaunting it, you show it by simply living it. You do not have to have his pat on the head... you are finding *you* after all these years, focus on that... on becoming your own friend and liking the person you are. When you can honestly say to yourself with a smile "I am te kind of person I would want to be around" then you will know you have found yourself again.
He does not like himself and needs to find himself as well, you can't do that for him and your MIL and SIL are only feeding his dependence on others... and it could be that he is seeing the changes in you and is jealous that you are changing while he is not.
Keep strong and remember that you cannot change yesterday, you have no control over tomorrow and today is the only thing that matters.
M- 11 y H- 40 Me- 41 D (1st M) 19 S (1st M) 17 First EA (w/OOW)discovered 2000 Third EA (w/OOW & phone) discovered 02/06 SSM (total) 3 1/2 years
