I didn't see anything psychologically abusive in those letters. And Lost has begged her H to contact D, and you can't control what he tells her. Just better to not read it IMO. Over-analyzing doesn't help.
Lost, I'm reading a common thread here, let me give you some male perspective. Feel free to chime in with perspective on my thread Your H wants to be left alone. His letter makes that clear, that he's scared if he gives your D his number that you'll call and bug him about stuff. He wants to talk to D, not you. It seems you're having a really hard time detaching and leaving him alone. It's really the best thing you can do now.
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
Your H wants to be left alone. His letter makes that clear, that he's scared if he gives your D his number that you'll call and bug him about stuff. He wants to talk to D, not you. It seems you're having a really hard time detaching and leaving him alone. It's really the best thing you can do now.
