Moving on with my life!

[Startingover2]

Quiet again. Is that a good thing? Finances are horrible and I need to figure that out. Can't live this way for long. Another casualty of my M to exh.

Oh wait..I guess its not quiet. I forgot what happened. My son's friend lives across the street from married gf. The last time I picked him up there she called exh and threatened to call police cuz she thought I was stalking her! Pfft!

Last night I had to pick him up again. I even stopped by exh's to pick up something he had for us and told him where I was going. I go pick him up..and get home and there is a sherriff at my door about 20 minutes later. It was a friend of mine anyway. He said there was a call of me 'stalking'. I got mad and told him why I was there. He knew, and just left.

I nicely text'd exh and told him what happened. He didn't seem very happy with her. Hmmmmm......can you say FREAK!

[blindsided1]

That's funny. Hey, just hang in there. I found that, for me, when Ex is making excuses for why he can't be here or there. I just let him deal with it. I don't fight back. I don't try to make him "see" my point. I just say "that's your choice" and if he wants to see her days that aren't his...I have no problem as long as it doesn't inconvenience me and we don't have plans, already.

Hope you have a good weekend. Text me if you need me.

[Startingover2]

Oh boy!

Exh came for his visit today. Ended up swimming here with baby, we went on a walk, and then we went out to dinner. Quite the family afternoon. He was talking on the phone to someone ( i think his brother) when he got here and said he only had a week or so left till he gets his license back. How scary. I have a feeling alot will change.

My heart hurts. Today and tonight was really nice. Its so hard to remember what a complete jerk he is when we spend normal and fun family time together. But I know when he went home he is texting gf and probably alot of other women too. He can pretend we are a happy family and then go back to his other life.

[Startingover2]

Exh is all of a sudden showing interest in 'our family'. Wants to spend more time here with baby, go places, calls and texts more etc. He could be gearing up for taking me back to court for unsupervised time soon and needs to show his pattern of involvement as in the past it has sucked.
So yesterday he asks if baby and I could go to his daughters soccer game today with him. He made it sound like we would have this nice time like a little family. I made a smartass comment about the married gf...and he said "its not what you think it is. She just gives me rides etc. Its pretty much done." Yeah right.

So I go and we have a good time. It was fun to hang out together. His daugher was so glad we were there...his exwife was so happy too...she even sent me a text after saying "Can't you two work it out for the kids? It would be so great if you got back together."

Exh sent multiple texts all afternoon saying how special today was etc. My heart was softening again.

I hadn't heard from him in about 4 hours...curiosity got the best of me and I drove by...guess what? married gf is there! Not surprised I guess, but it does hurt. I probably shouldn't have done this, but I sent a text to him "Not what I think huh?" He replied with What? I never responded and won't.

I know its my own fault for believing his lies over and over. My own fault for not seeing he always has a hidden agenda and wants to continue to cake eat. I fall for it each and every time! Although I would have to say the shock factor is not nearly what it used to be. Maybe getting that text from exwife got me going again as well.

So...that is my day. Going to scrub the bootmark off my forehead where he stepped on it yet again!

[kassie]

Saw your post and you will see that I have been dropped again. So, I will be here off and on today if you want to chat back and forth here or on the A boards.

[Startingover2]

Thanks Kass...sorry your day isn't going well.

I am giving it a huge effort today to not let him get to me...even though he is trying really hard.

This morning on my way to church I passed him and his married gf in town. I pretended not to see them and he looked like he was trying to melt into the seat. This is the gf that he swore yesterday was not in his life anymore! Ten minutes later he sends a text asking how we were and what we were up to...obviously fishing to see if I saw him after the gf was dismissed. I didn't respond as we were in church and he kept it up. Finally I said 'just leaving church. Baby is wonderful. Have a good day.' He came back asking if I was crabby. No need to go any further. I did my job in updating him about baby.

Waht a toxic life he leads. No wonder he needs alcohol to hide behind. Must be exhausting trying to cover his tracks all the time.

[Startingover2]

I just had to post this as I find it truly amazing how the exh has become so good and deflecting the blame from himself to me or others. The logic and self awareness is completely gone.

Yesterday after I busted him in yet another lie (that he wasn't with his married gf anymore) he started texting me and saying that he wants to work it out but I show no interest. Then he sent the following:

"Bottom line for me is I want to try and make things work but for me I have seen no change in you at all. I care about you and always will but cant stand that you make me out to be this monster hurts my feelings."

Oh, how I wanted to respond to that...but didnt. After I got over laughing so hard I realized he hasn't changed at all and really has made no progress (thanks BS for pointing that out). I guess what he is saying he won't give up drinking and his married girlfriend until he sees change in me. Yeah right!

No personal responsibility was taken. None! I am sure I have things I need to work on to make a relationship better. Who doesn't?

Yeah sweetheart...go back to your married girlfriend who gives you pills, ego strokes, and then you dismiss her back to her husband and kids. Perfect relationship for you.

A girlfriend has a saying "Dodge Sh**tballs!". Man, did I dodge one again! Things have to look up and get better!

[JayMan]

My W tries to send me funny texts and jokes and stuff. I don't respond AT ALL. I only respond if she asks, "What time do I pick up the kids?" or "Do you have S7's lunchbox?"

Even then, I respond with yes, no, or OK.

It's been a long time, so I'll be a little pointed, and hope you'll forgive me - but do you get some sort of rise out of this? You continue to talk and talk and talk about what he says to you - why do you even respond?

What possible purpose would you have for any involvement whatsoever in his life?

[Startingover2]

I don't know why I continue to let him get to me. Maybe the negative attention I do get is something. I have no idea. I am very lonely. I don't feel appreciated nor attractive to anyone but a beautiful 18 month old who I adore, but sometimes you need more than that.

Today I am going to be bouncy, happy and on my way out the door when he comes to see baby.

The new me!

[JayMan]

And I'm sorry if my post sounded like an attack - I just believe you are worth a lot more!

Good for you - that sounds like a plan! I told someone the other day that if I had my kids and a cardboard box, I'd be happy. And the cardboard box was optional!