WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 11

[confusedinpa]

Just some journaling

She didn't call after talking with the boys. Which was fine by me as I've been fighting a bug - guess the last few weeks are catching up to me

My 7 year old had another melt down last nite. He said he was sad about mommy. He said she told him these things happen to a lot of people. I told him it is understandable to be sad but I know we will be fine. I told him I know it's hard to be tough and strong and I will be tough and strong for all of us until he feels he is ready to be strong and tough

When we woke up this morning they climbed into bed with me to snuggle. That's when my 3 year said he was mad that mommy wouldn't key him call me back after we talked. That made me mad as well. I told him I know it's sad and makes him mad but even if he can't call me back, I know he and his brother love me and they know I love them

Then my 7 year old said since the laptop doesn't work at mommy's place that we should leave it at home. I asked him why he just thought of that. He told me that was what mommy asked him. I tried not to show him I was upset but told him I wiki ask mommy to try and get it working. He said be tries to as well but she hasn't. I told him not to worry about it and I will talk to her

So even with this BS, I am deciding to still have a great day with my boys. I've done above and beyond what I needed to do to save this marriage. If she ever looks through the door, she may be surprised with what she finds......